Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
