I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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