1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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