also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How does one acquire holy water?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
