im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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