I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
