then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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