I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I supernannyed him into submission
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i believe in u and ur pee
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
