SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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