i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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