i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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