Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
