I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
