3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
