I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
