At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
