I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
