We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
