I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
