I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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