Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
