You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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