is your mom at the bar?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
