Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
what day is it and did you see me today?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize