yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the day after is always just damage control
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
