im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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