I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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