yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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