So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
