OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I faked an abortion last night.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
