I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
