People in love make me want to vomit
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
