You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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