There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
