i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Houston, we have a squirter
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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