the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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