U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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