She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
