i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
