would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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