ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this boner is exhausting
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
