I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
