he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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