There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
