Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
