I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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