Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
