I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i believe in u and ur pee
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
