I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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