drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
