Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
