I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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