Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
