The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
