I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
