kristin has been a bad kristin
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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