are you still at the devil's house?
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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