can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
