Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
