im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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