dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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